On the verge of reaching my breaking point. Couldn’t find a single friend to turn to so I end up blabbing all my rants on my tumblr.
I know I may sound childish but I’m always there for all my friends, but how many are actually there when I really need them? Times like now makes me really wonder whether it was worth investing my time in this friendship. I know you have commitments and all, is it really difficult to reply my text while you study/ doing projects/ mingling with the scene kids.
Still dealing with the issue of self acceptance and public validation. Was looking through instagram’s explore page and saw some really fashionable people. The clothes they wear are so expensive. Makes me feel so fucking inferior and my fashion endeavor seem like a feeble attempt to step into the big pool. I don’t look good in real life, needless to say in pictures. I’m in shitty army that don’t allow colored and long hair. And my shitty complexion. Tell me to go upstage to talk to a huge group all perform? No way man. I’ll freaking piss my pants and sweat buckets. Zero confidence in myself. How to be confident when you have absolutely nothing to be confident of?
And constantly getting rejected on the stupid app that supposedly supposed to help my love life flourish. What utter rubbish. The circle only favours the rich, the goodlooking, the muscle heads. People like me poor, ugly and skinny have absolutely no place in this circle. Finding friends is already hard. Don’t even talk about a r/s. So now we have to be of the same built to be friends? How superficial can you get? I also want a Godfrey Gao lookalike to be my partner.I always tell myself to stay strong for other people, man up give zero fucks about this kind of lame stuff. But over time it really gets to me and I just feel so shitty about myself.
Fuck this shit man.